we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i now understand why vodka
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
