WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
