That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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