The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
