Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
