I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
