You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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