Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
