I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
