My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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