You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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