well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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