He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
