it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
