omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
