Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
