It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
