I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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