dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
