Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
