I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
