Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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