If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
