Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
