Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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