There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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