What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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