I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
