Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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