Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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