took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
