Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
