Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
