She went from zero to smokin in five shots
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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