It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
