Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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