I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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