Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
