Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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