OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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