Why does Corona taste like a burp?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
