have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
