There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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