Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
