So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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