He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize