So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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