it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
That reminds me...we need to get swords
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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