1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
