last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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