Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
